unconscious stress

(sebenarnya saya dah berfikir2 utk privatekn blog inih)

assalamualaikum wbt.

semoga anda semua selamat dalam rahmat Illahi.

saya.

sudah 4 tahun saya bergelar pelajar medik. saya suka medik, walaupun ia bukanlah pilihan pertama saya. bahkan bukanlah impian saya untuk menjadi doktor, but i thank Allah for all what He gave to me, truly Dialah yang telah memudahkan segalanya.

saya tidak pasti bagaimana dengan orang lain.

but i figure out something about myself.

anda pernah dengar tentang unconscious stress?

2 tahun ini, saya selalu sahaja ditimpa sakit. taklah terlalu melarat sampai nak mengadu di sini.

bukan tu yang nak dismpikn.

but since i was in my 1st year, i always have headache. mungkin pada pandangan orang macam xd mende, common lar sakit kepala.

but i remember setiap kali study leave dtg menjengah, i spend at least about 4dys berterusan memicit2 kepala..sudahlah study leave, 4 hari saya x dpt study pape, the pain really made me miserable. mula ingat migrain, tp xd symptom2 migrain pun.

i went to salama hospital 4 times for the same complaint during the early 4 semesters. ada y ckp hypotension la, siap bg ubat hypotension, n i made fundus examination to check for any eye lesion, and also once dr bagi vitamin utk anti oxidant.

mase awal 3rd year, i had the same headache..but at least i can still go to the lecture. and whenever i had the same attack, i went to a companion's house, and she was really good in turning my pain into forgettable sensation .

through out this 4 years, headache was not the only companion of me, 2 thun lepas i had backache yang mula2 ingat sebab tempat duduk kuliah or sebab selalu sgt duduk time study. i bought a new bed plus a conducive office chair sebagai teman di meja study. unfortunately, pain still come and go, and letak minyak pun xjuga berkesan. again, i asked for medical advice, and the doctor only perscribe me NSAID 4 biji satu hari. nasib baik belajar pharma yang NSAID tu hepatotoxicity, so i stop the drug lebih2 lagi makan ubat pun sakit tu xd la hilang sangat.

and recently, i had the attack of headache again. i cant even concentrate in the lecture, so i went hope and take a nap before clinical round. unfortunately, the pain persist till the 2nd day..

im giving up to seek another medical advice, the true is sy dh fed up kot. i think, most of u guys tahu je kalau dr dh x jmpe any organic cause for a disease, the cause is STRESS.

yeah may be,

i'm right now thinking about the same thing too.

tapi sejujurnya, saya rasakan saya hidup dengan selesa sekarang. only in these 2 days i was irritable and stressed because i cannot concentrate in class when my head is throbbing .

i dunno..some people said that im in stress, and people asked me to manage the stress.

saya fed up dengan alasan itu.

kerana saya rasa saya aman, x stress pun. ya, saya ketawa, saya cuba bersemangat setiap hari, saya cuba bersemangat dalam apa jua saya lakukan, saya cuba contohi kekuatan sahabat2 yang jauh lebih sibuk dari saya. SAYA CUBA.

my mind never give up.

but,

am my body is trying so hard everyday?

till sometime my own body cannot withstand anymore

thus im putting the stress unconsciously on my body.

kadang2, saya rasa penat untuk menerima keadaan yang sebenarnya sakit tu disebabkan stress, because conciously i feel like im totally ok with life.

somehow, im worry about my future life as a doctor, for sure it will be more hectic than this day..i hope that i can cope mentally and physically..im trying harder to be strong, and to be optimist. i know that i cannot lose my enthusiasm..

because people are inspired by this character..my gloomy face will affect most of the people around me.

i wish i could always wake up in morning with smile on face.

stress.

kalaulah benar anda yang bersama dengan saya.

saya mahu cepat2 keluarkan anda.

u can ruin my life even worser if u persist.

anda diluar sana, search la for details about stress and how to cope with it.

takpe2, anda semua hebat, mungkin xreliabe to stress sgt mcm saya.

semoga nadiah cepat sembuh.

:)